September 5: A few hours ago, anxious as heck, I sat in the parking lot at my local gym, waiting. On a whim I signed up for a membership last week with some friends and tonight was my first time visiting said gym. We were taking a 30 minute #HIIT class and while I was excited to try it, I was crippled with fear and anxiety. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. My belly gets in the way of everything. I’m not bendy in any way. Like at all! And, I have hip issues. I hate being watched. My anxiety made me get to the gym 40 minutes early. Scared I’d be late. Scared to show up after the class started. Everyone looking at me. So I sat in the car waiting. Fretting. Beating myself up for letting myself “go” all these years. If I had stayed in shape, I wouldn’t be scared I’d throw up in front of everyone. I fretted until the very last minute before the class started. But knowing I had a friend waiting and counting on me made me move my butt out of that car. Inside the gym, I swipe my pass and I can
This year I promised to stop making excuses and to stop putting things on my invisible wish list - and just start doing the things I “wished” I could do. Like reading again. My oldest kid will be 10 this year, and since we’ve started our family I can list on one hand the number of books I’ve read. Before kids, I was a reading machine, and I miss it!
So for 2020 I’ve committed to reading 6 books - and I’ve already read 2 and I’m just about to start my third. More on those books later 😉
Next on my list was to make my health a priority as well as to be grateful for the things that I have. I’ve been doing a good job so far - I joined Weight Watchers and have lost almost 6 pounds in a few weeks. I’m more mindful of what I’m eating...but if I’m craving something like chips or a burger I eat it and try not to feel guilty! Baby steps!
Did you make any goals for the year? It’s never too late to start, share your goals in the comments below.
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